When I first started out learning how to meet women, I remember that I had a feeling inside like, “I’m afraid to just walk up to a strange woman and start talking.” I thought of all kinds of things that could go wrong. “What if she has a boyfriend nearby who easily gets jealous and wants to beat me up?” “What if she says something that puts me down and makes me feel bad?” “What if she says something to someone else about me being a loser because I tried to talk to her?”
All of these different ideas combined inside of me to give me a general fear of meeting women. I’ve since learned that none of my worst fears would come true when meeting a new woman. I’ve met hundreds and hundreds of women over the last few years – and none (NONE!) have reacted or caused anything to happen that I couldn’t handle in the moment.
In the process I realized something very important: No tactic works on every woman. Some women are not interested in meeting someone right now. Some women are lesbians and have no interest in men.
Some women are happily married or in a relationship and don’t want to meet someone new right now. Some women are angry. Some are cold. My guess is that in a random group of 100 women, only about 30 of them might be open to meeting someone new right now (in a romantic sense). What this means is that 70 AREN’T interested in meeting someone new. And of the 30 who are interested in meeting someone new, maybe only 15 are nice, friendly, happy people. Do you see where I’m going? If you want to be successful at meeting women, you have to understand that many of the women you talk to aren’t interested. Most people take things like this PERSONALLY. Instead of just moving on to the next woman, they get all uptight and feel bad about it. I’ve now learned a better way. I also learned something else that helped me dramatically.
Walking up
I learned that women are used to being approached, flirted with, and picked up on in general by men. Even women who are what you might call ‘average’ are approached by men on a pretty regular basis. So when you’re about to approach a woman, keep in mind that it’s not like you’re going to try something that she’s never heard of before and shock her. You may not be totally comfortable yet just walking up to any woman, but she’ll be relatively OK with it.
And remember, if she’s not interested, it’s most likely that she’s not interested in anyone right now. Of course it’s true that she might not be interested in your ‘type’ or you may have acted in a way that she didn’t like, but the fact is that no matter what happens, you’ll find that it’s no big deal.
When I first started my journey, I realized that some of the greatest memories that my friends and I have are when something bad happened to one of us. Looking back, we usually laugh about these things and make fun of each other and ourselves. So I thought about it, and I realized that getting rejected really harshly by a woman would actually be a funny thing. I imagined my best friend and I saying, “Hey, remember that time when I walked up to that girl in the mall and said “Hi”, but she told me that she doesn’t date men who look like Pee Wee Herman? Ha ha ha ha...”
Think of it this way:
If you get shut down really hard, just tell a couple of friends. They may not let you live it down, but at least you can laugh about it! (And if you have friends that won’t help you laugh about it, then you need some new ones.) Another part of the attitude equation that I realized is that different women respond to different looks, personalities, etc. One woman might only like men who dress in suits and ties, while another might only like women who dress like bad boy rockers. Whatever style you develop, DON’T CHANGE IT JUST BECAUSE SOME WOMEN DON’T LIKE IT.
The price of big success is having some people dislike you. So once you find a style that works for you, stick with it, and only change it because YOU choose to do so!
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