1. We like being “the boyfriend.”
   Girls often think that guys are players-at-heart who love the single life and only settle down because society tells them that they have to, but nothing could be further from the truth. Sure there are some guys who get a serious case of the GIGS (Grass Is Greener Syndrome) every time they make a commitment to a girl but these guys are the exception not the rule. We other guys have a word to describe our flakey won’t settle down counterparts – immature. For the most part guys love being in love just as much as girls do.

2. We don’t like when you pull away from us.
   Guys are competitive beasts so you’d think that the hard to get game would make us give chase, and in the beginning stages of a relationship it does, but once we’ve settled in and made a commitment to you we want the chase to stop. If you keep it up, if you keep pushing us away with your right hand while pulling us closer with your left, you’ll quickly find that we start pulling away altogether. Once we open our hearts the game totally changes for us. We don’t want to chase you forever so when you pull away from us, we pull away from you in what amounts to a psychological tug-o-war. The more you pull away the more we respond in kind. Keep it up and everyone just gets tired and calls it quits. So once you’ve landed your guy don’t keep playing hard to get, instead let him know that you’re happy you were caught.

3. We want our friends to like you… but not love you.
   In guy world the approval of our friends is very important so it makes sense that we want our friends to like you. But what we don’t want is for them to covet you. When we hook up with a very hot girl and our buddies ogle her it is a real turn off. This is why so many really pretty girls find themselves single. We just can’t handle the thought of losing you to one of our friends because if that happens we lose our girl, one of our boys and a big chunk of our egos. So if our friends like you and think you're cool that’s great but if they wish they could have you that’s bad. Unfortunately this is totally out of your control. Rest assured that as guys get older we get more secure and this one matters less but in the meantime know this - if you’ve ever been dumped by a guy who you thought really liked you shortly after meeting his friends take comfort in the fact that you were probably just too hot for him to handle.

4. We want you to like, but not love, our friends.
   This one goes along with the other one for obvious reasons but there is a little more to it. Obviously we don’t want you ditching us to be with one of our buddies but we also don’t want you to work overtime trying to win our friends over. Sometimes no matter how great you are our friends will only act luke-warm toward you. This is most likely not your fault and usually has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them but as long as our friends and you can hang out without incident the boyfriend in us is happy. We don’t want you to go out of your way to get our friends to like you because we want your energy focused on us and only us. We don’t want you to care what other guys think about you. We want your efforts and attentions to rest firmly on us. Is that immature? Probably. But hey, we’re guys!

5. We worry that YOU will dump US.
   If there is one thing I see over and over in the girl magazines it’s question after question about how to keep a guy interested but that’s not really very hard. When we like you, we like you and that’s all there is to it. In reality we probably spend more time worrying that you’ll dump us than we would ever spend thinking about dumping you. So relax and stop fixating on how or when our relationship will end and just be our girlfriend. That’s all it really takes to keep a guy happy.

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1. We like the chase – you chasing us.
Yep, it’s sad but true that when a guy is too eager to catch us we wonder why. What is wrong with this guy? Why is he so clingy? Is he a control freak? Is he a serial dater? A player with many girlfriends on the go? Is he insane? It’s not that we don’t want to be caught, we do, we just don’t want to feel trapped and when things happen too fast trapped is how we feel. We need to be sure of our feelings and of our attraction before we can step off the racetrack and give up the chase. You need to woo us to make us yours. Some guys lay out traps, saying all the right things and meaning none of them, in an attempt to woo us and this gives way to our biggest fear; falling prey to an insincere guy who is more about the game than being in a relationship. For this reason even once we’re yours, even once we are sure of your feelings and you are sure of ours, we need to still feel a little bit of the chase. When you chase us we feel like you want us and are willing to do some work to be with us and we don’t want that feeling to go away just because you’ve caught us.

2. When we say we’re “OK” or that things are “fine” the opposite is probably true.
Girls are communicators. It is hardwired in to our psyches to talk and talk and talk some more whenever there is discord or conflict. So if you sense there’s a problem and gather the courage to ask us and we respond with a “fine” or “it’s ok” or some other sentence with less than 7 (short) words chances are good that we really want to talk. So, you think, what’s a guy to do? You ask a question, you get an answer, and you plan based on that answer. Who wants to read between the lines or guess what is really going on? What a waste of time, right? Wrong! When girls pull the short answers out during a conversation it is because we want you to put the effort in to getting us to open up. It comes from a place of feeling like you don’t usually care what we have to say so we want you to put some effort in to getting us to talk so we can be sure we will be listened to. Now those perceptive guys among you may have your hands up right now waiting to ask the obvious question… if a girl feels like she’s not usually heard isn’t that the REAL problem? Yes, yes it is, and one little talk won’t stop that feeling of being marginalized. In psychology we call this a learned response, a behavior that does not come naturally but rather has been developed through a process called social conditioning. You may very well be the most attentive boyfriend since the dawn of time but if her previous guys made her feel insignificant or unheard you’ll have to help her carry that baggage. Heck, you’ll have to help her unpack it and put it away! So when your girl replies with a curt little answer to your questions don’t take her at face value. Calmly and gently ask her a few more times. Once she feels like you will hear her nature will take over and, voila! You’ll be communicating.

3. We want you to have your guy time.
It is such a myth that girls don’t like to let their guy just hang with the boys. It's a terrible lie perpetrated by relationship-phobes throughout the ages. It is totally untrue that we want you to give up your life to be with us. Think of it this way… when we met you and fell for you, you were (hopefully) single and your friends were a big part of your life. Take your friends away and a big piece of the guy we fell for goes with them. So we want you to keep your guy time. We know you need your friends and truth be told we need our friends too. That being said, obviously when you are single you have lots of spare time to spend with friends but when you are in a relationship some of that time is going to be taken up by your significant other (A.K.A. us). That is only normal. It is normal for you to need your guy time and it is normal for you to want to spend time with us. If you find the right balance the guy-time issue quickly becomes a non-issue. It is when we feel like you don’t make as much time for us as you do for them or that you resent being away from your friends when you are with us that the stereotypical “girlfriend verses the friends” scenario takes the stage. It’s all about balance. Spending time with your friends or with us will never be an issue as long as there is a balance and as long as we never feel that they mean more to you than we do or that they come always first.

4. We want to know your friends but aren’t so sure you need to know ours.
I’m not going to lie; this is hypocrisy in its most raw form. We want you to bring us around your friends, we want to know them and we want them to like us, but we aren’t quite as crazy about you knowing our friends. The why of this is as simple as it is irrational and here it is… we want to know your boys so we can understand the kinds of things they may get you to do when we’re not around. In short, will they encourage you to cheat on us, will they get you doing reckless and dangerous things, and will they help you engage in self-destructive activities? What we want to know is if they will be good or bad influences on you. We also want to create a buffer; we want your friends to like us so that they won’t want you to lose us. If there is no tension between your friends and us then we don’t need to fear them asking you to choose between love and friendship. Now on the flip side, we don’t really want you getting all chummy with our friends because we don’t want them to fill you in on all of our dirty little secrets. As previously noted girls are talkers by nature and we don’t want them to let something slip that may make you raise an eyebrow in our direction. We also fear, but will never admit fearing, you wanting one of our friends more than you want us. It’s bad enough to lose your guy to another girl but when that girl was once a friend, well, the sting is even sharper. So allow us this hypocrisy. It’s irrational, that's true, but it’s also quite harmless.

5. We worry that other girls look better now that you are in a relationship.
Mike nailed the core of every girlfriend's relationship insecurity on the head when he brought up the GIGS (Grass Is Greener Syndrome). The idea that life is better on the other side is one of the most destructive forces in relationship world and girls feel that guys fall for it way too often. It is a great fear of ours that once you can’t have other girls you will suddenly want them all. It leads to a lot of unfounded jealousy brought on by innocent comments on your part or casual non-flirtatious conversations with other girls. So what’s a guy to do? In a perfect world you’d stop interacting with other girls altogether but our rational super-ego knows that’s not realistic. What you need to do is follow these three simple rules; 1) never pay more attention to another girl than you do to your girlfriend, 2) never comment over and over how hot/cool/nice/fun another girl is, and 3) if you meet a great girl while you’re in a relationship hook her up with one of your buddies (also known as taking her off the market and getting her out of our face). And should you ever really get the itch to jump the fence and live life on the other side... just do it! Don’t lead us on, don’t cheat on us, don’t sneak around, just end the relationship. If it ends up being a GIGS fueled mistake… oh well, consider it a hard lesson learned and leave us alone... we won't want you back anyway!

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The second biggest question you will ask yourself as a new mom is, “Will I be able to get back into shape after I give birth?” (The first, of course, is, “Will I be a good mother?”) The truth is, yes, you can get back into pre-pregnancy shape and, if you desire, you can get yourself into even better shape than you were in before your pregnancy.

One of the biggest myths you must get past is the classic, “The doctor said I have to wait six weeks before I do any kind of exercise.” Under certain circumstances this is a valid rule. For instance, your pregnancy may have occurred later in life or you experienced complications during your pregnancy and/or the actual birth of your baby.

If you fall into this category you should communicate with you doctor regarding your desire to exercise and abide by her recommendations.

But, if you had an uncomplicated, normal pregnancy there should be no reason why you can’t start working out twenty four hours after you give birth. So as not to mislead you, let’s define working out as it applies to you at this stage of the game.

You are clearly not ready to jump into a full scale fitness program one day after giving birth. But you can and should begin doing gentle isometrics (contract a muscle, hold it for a few seconds & then release it) and Kegels. Of course, you should consult with your doctor before starting just so she is aware of what you are doing. She may also have some valuable input.

Before you leave the hospital ask the doctor about the condition of your rectus abdominus. These are the two muscles that run parallel to each other from the pubic area up to the diaphragm. During some pregnancies the connective tissue between these two muscles tears and separates. If this is your case ask your doctor how you can help them reconnect and heal faster. This will be necessary in order for you to add the next few exercises to your routine.

You should be able to start a walking program several weeks, if not sooner, after you give birth

If your abdominal muscles did not separate, which should be confirmed by your doctor, then you can add the tried and true pelvic tilt to your new exercise program. This is one of the most basic exercises for the “core muscles”. At this time it should also be safe to add a modified abdominal crunch. This is best achieved by starting with a pelvic tilt and then lifting the head and top of the shoulder blades by curling forward slightly as you breathe out. Then return to neutral as you breathe in.

It is generally safe to add several modified leg exercises at this point. Of course, you will want to run these by your doctor before trying them out.

Lying on your back, on any comfortable surface, keep one leg bent with your foot on the floor while the other leg is flat on the ground. Bring the knee of the leg that is flat toward you by bending it and then proceed to lift that same foot off the ground and toward the ceiling. Then bring it back down by retracing the moves in reverse.

Your second leg exercise is known as “the square”. Starting in the same position as the first leg exercise, lift the straight leg off the ground by about a foot or so. Then slowly draw a square in the air with your big toe. Keep the square small at first. With time, as you get stronger, you can increase the size of the square.

You should be able to start a walking program several weeks, if not sooner, after you give birth. There is usually no good reason (unless you had a complicated pregnancy) to wait six weeks after birth to start a consistent walking program. Of course, you should discuss this with your doctor before getting started.

At six weeks post delivery you can start to push your fitness program to a higher level by incorporating cardiovascular work, such as light jogging, and some strength training with a combination of body weight exercises and dumbbell exercises. Also, remember to include stretching exercises for optimal flexibility.

The point of this article is to help you understand that most doctors are conservative when it comes to answering a new mom’s questions about exercise. It is easy for the doctor to “play it safe”, and advise you to wait six weeks before starting your fitness program. However, if you show your doctor the exact exercises that you wish to do, she will most likely realize that you have done your homework and should give you the green light regarding the start of your “new mom” exercise program.

Exercising after you give birth will automatically make you a better mother

And about the first question you asked your self, “Will I be a good mother?” Exercising after you give birth will automatically make you a better mother for two significant reasons:

1) You will be setting a priceless example for your baby that is highly likely to rub off on him and have a powerful impact on how he chooses to live his life.

2) You will be stronger, healthier and more energetic. These are three valuable elements for any new mother.

New mom and former physical fitness coordinator for the US NAVY, Jeri-Jo Gennusa, advises, “Avoid using your new baby as an excuse for not exercising. Allow your baby to help motivate you to take better care of yourself by following a simple and progressive post-pregnancy fitness program.”

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A healthy eating plan contains a wide variety of foods from the five basic food groups.* Every day, you should try to eat:

• 6 or more servings of bread, cereal, rice, or pasta.
  • One serving equals one slice of bread, 1 ounce of ready-to-eat cereal (about 1 cup of most cereals), or 1/2 cup of cooked cereal, rice, or pasta.
  • If you are physically active, you can eat more servings (up to 11 servings if you are very active).
• 3 to 5 servings of vegetables.
  • One serving equals 1 cup of raw leafy vegetables such as spinach or lettuce, or 1/2 cup of chopped vegetables, cooked or raw.
• 2 to 4 servings of fruit.
  • One serving equals one medium piece of fruit like an apple, banana, or orange; 1/2 cup of chopped fresh, cooked, or canned fruit; 1/4 cup dried fruit; or 3/4 cup of 100-percent fruit juice.
• 2 servings of milk, yogurt, or cheese
  • One serving equals 1 cup of milk or yogurt, 1 1/2 ounces of natural cheese like cheddar or mozzarella, or 2 ounces of processed cheese like American.
  • If you are 18 years or younger and pregnant, you need at least 3 servings of milk, yogurt, and cheese.
  • Choose low-fat or fat-free dairy products most often.
• 2 to 3 servings of meat, poultry, fish, dry beans, eggs, or nuts.
  • One serving equals 2 to 3 ounces of cooked meat, poultry, or fish-about the size of a deck of cards. Choose lean cuts and eat no more than 5 to 7 ounces of meat, poultry, or fish a day. One cup of cooked beans such as kidney beans or 2 eggs count as a serving.
  • Four tablespoons of peanut butter or 2/3 cup of nuts also equals a serving.
• At least 8 glasses of water.
  • Drinking milk, 100-percent juice, seltzer or other non-alcoholic beverages counts toward your amount of daily water.

* Adapted from the U.S. Department of Agriculture/Department of Health and Human Services Food Guide Pyramid.

Credit: http://www.mamashealth.com/pregnancy/

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Career Tips by Serena C | jobsdb.com.my

Dressed to impress Dress in any appropriate outfit that mirrors their professionalism. Just remember to keep it simple, but elegant--Men in business suits, or shirt and slacks; women in pant suit or blouse and knee-length skirts or long pants.

Mind the time

Avoid planning for an interview during your lunch breaks or during any short breaks in between in order not to rush over things. You may get all panicky and lose your focus should you need to dash here and there for the interview.

Be careful of what your body language speaks

Greet the interviewer with a strong, firm handshake as a start. Don't hunch and remember to look at the interviewer in the eyes. These small gestures leave a lot of obvious clues to the interviewer about you and your confidence.

Give me some energy!

Leave your monotonous speech behind and insert some energy and life into your words and expressions. Speak clearly and loud enough while answering all questions enthusiastically.

Behave professionally

You may find yourself striking up the right cords with the interviewer but always remember to keep your conversation professional. Just be pleasant throughout the interview.

Good riddance to all negativity

Keep your grudges with your ex-boss at bay and be careful with your answers. Do not condemn anything related to your current or previous management or company. Your answer will reflect your maturity and as someone who keeps hatred in mind.

Do your research

Run a search through the Internet on the company hiring to get some basic company background knowledge. Never pretend to know the answer to some questions posed if in fact you really don't.

Send a thank you note.

Send your interviewers a short thank you note to carve a lasting impression of yourself. The thank you note may just prove to be your entry ticket to a second interview or even a job offer.

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Most of the time, potential job candidates are not aware of the mistakes they make before and during the interview. These small mistakes that might cost them a job.

Number 10

Running Late Without Notice.

Turning up late for the interview and never calling to say you are running late will not give a good impression to your potential employer. If you are running late, do inform your interviewer and apologize that you are running late and ask if it is possible for you to attend the interview a little bit late or just request for the interview to be rescheduled if that is not possible.

Of course, the worst that could happen which could quash your employment chances is your attitude when you do not even bother to turn up at an interview without calling.

Number 9

Lack of Preparation

Preparation for an interview includes:

1. Research on the background of the company
2. Bring along an extra copy of your resumé and relevant supporting documents, just in case
3. Be prepared with the answers for possible common interview questions
4. Rehearse on your speech, clarity, confidence, etc. prior to the interview

In the event that you are required to attend an interview at short notice and you applied for a job with no company description stated in the ad, keep your cool and ask questions during the interview to know more about the company.

It is recommended that you carry an extra copy of your resumé in your working bag just in case you are called for a job interview during your lunch/tea break at short notice.

Number 8

Lack of Confidence/Over Confidence

Lack of confidence could be perceived by potential employers as your lack of preparation; being nervous could also be giving the impression that you are trying to cover something or is lying. Being over confident may turn interviewers off as you may be viewed as being too big-headed or you may be viewed as a braggart who talks more than you deliver.

Number 7

Talking Too Much

It is not wise to talk too much and fail to listen and understand the questions asked. Listen carefully to answer the questions asked, be clear and concise in your answers to show that you understood the question and are not just rambling for the sake of talking. Be specific and respond directly to the questions asked. Be careful with your selection of words and think before you say anything to decide if what you are going to say is necessary or appropriate.

Number 6

Inappropriate Dressing

Avoid revealing clothes or being underdressed - stick to conventional dressing, i.e. mono colours and minimal accessories.

Number 5

Body Language

Avoid weak or too strong handshakes, minimal or almost no eye contact with the interviewer and slouching when seated. Keep a straight back when seated and refrain from fidgeting or shaking your legs, twitching your nose, biting your nails or other signs that showed your nervousness. Take a deep breath to remain calm and be aware of your body language. Your body language tells your interviewers more about you than your speech.

Number 4

Criticising or Slating Your Previous Employers/Company/Colleagues or Complaining About Your Day

No one likes a person who complains, keep in mind that it is not a recommended icebreaker. You are being interviewed to promote yourself as the best possible candidate for the post, not to criticise others or complain about the train/car that broke down on your way to the interview.

Number 3

Lying or Concealing Information

Never attempt to lie or cover up any vital information, no matter how important you thought it was for you to conceal the information. You may land the job but how long it will be before you are found out?

Number 2

Failing to Ask Questions

Ask questions to show that you are interested in the job, lack of enthusiasm is a killer of your chances of employment.

Number 1

Money Talk

Never bring up talk on salary at the beginning of the interview. Only talk about salary or your employment package, i.e. remuneration, benefits, etc. when the interviewer asks you or the matter has not been brought up and the interview is near its end.

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